Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Moving On

Tomorrow will mark eleven months since my mother passed away. It doesn't seem possible that that much time has already gone by, but I miss her every day. Some said that as time passed, it would get easier, that the pain would never go away, but it would get easier. I'm not convinced of that. My heart hurts thinking about her and everything that she is missing, or maybe what I am missing with her. Every time something exciting happens or when something goes wrong, the first thing I want to do is go tell my mom and I can't do that anymore. I don't have that confidante to go to, to laugh or cry with. I know that I have others in my life that I can go to, yet it's not the same.

The hardest thing that is happening right now is that on Friday, October 3rd, my dad is getting re-married. He loved my mom with all of his heart, and he still does. I know that for a fact. In losing my mom, he lost a part of himself and his world. They were married for 20+ years and loneliness set in. He loved and missed her, but he met someone else quite soon after. I was devastated when I learned of this and I know that it was a selfish feeling and it wasn't fair, but that is how I felt and sometimes still do. I just cannot imagine my dad with anyone but my mother. Now he is going to marry someone else.

I met her almost two months ago, and she is wonderful. She is kind and loving. She is funny and honest. There are so many things I like about her and I know why my dad fell in love with her. She makes him happy, and when all is said and done, that is what is important. Things happen in life that we cannot control, nor do we have any say over, and we have to move on in our own time.

My dad was lucky to have found love with my mom and now he's found that once again. A different kind of love, as he will never love anyone like he loved my mother. Just the same, he found something twice, where some never find it at all. I cannot begin to understand how love works, but to find love is an amazing thing, and when you find it, you should hold on to it, treasure it, and give it back two fold.

Congratulations Daddy...I wish you and she all the happiness in the world.....I love you, and I love her too!

Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels Like Home


CarneyFarm said...

Oh Karrie you are wonderful I love how honest you are. I can't imagine how hard this is on you and yet it's so healing that you can want the happiness for your dad.

I probably didn't word this right.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is your so awesome.

MONEKE said...

Amazing post!! Nicely said and done. I share a similar story and yes we do have to take a step back and allow love to find itself even if it hurts. In sharing this story I hope the healing has started and you spend time with your new step mom.