Thursday, October 25, 2007

NaNoWriMo - A.K.A National Novel Writing Month

I am a woman of impulse and I will be the very first to admit that. This can be a great attribute and it can be a terrible one as well. In this case, I am going to classify it as a great one.

I was speaking with a dear friend last night and I was asked if I had ever heard of nanowrimo. I had to laugh at first because I honestly thought it was some sort of food. Partly because we always talk about food and partly because it sounds like a foreign dish. Soft laugh...well I was completely wrong. I questioned what it was and was told "NaNoWriMo". Still having no idea what the heck this was, I Googled it. I Google A LOT in talking with this friend...giggles...but I love that because I learn more that way and retain the information. Anyway, this is what I found when I Googled it ~~~~> National Novel Writing Month. I had to read the 'about' page twice to make sure I was reading correctly. He was actually suggesting that I write a 175-page, 50,000 word novel. Was he off his rocker? No. Not at all actually. I read a bit more on it, bookmarked the home page and basically shrugged it off. Impossible, right?

So I take a day to ponder it. Roll it around in my brain for a bit to see how it sits. I know this would be a HUGE commitment and I go back and forth. "Ok, I'll do it." "No, I don't have time to do it. " "But this would be a great experience and a perfect challenge." "Yeah, but will you really DO it?" "I will make myself do it." "Yeah, you say that now, but you will fall behind, lose interest?" This craziness went on and on all day. You can imagine how much work I got done today.

I came home and worked it out, that in order to do this piece each day, I would have to write approximately 1667 words each day for 30 days straight. That would take me to just over 50,000 words. I took a quick survey on a writing I did last night and the word count was almost 1200. So, I would only need about 400 more and I would have accomplished one day. WOW!! However, looking at it this way, makes it seem a bit more feasible now doesn't it?

I wander back to the home page, click on the words "Sign Up", take a deep breath, fill out all the fields, take another deep breath, and clicked on "submit". YIPES!! I did it. I took the first step.

Am I absolutely crazy? Yup, probably, but you know what? I am going to embrace this challenge and I will complete it. I can't promise that it will be anything worth reading, but it will be my words, my writings, my escape. For now, that is all I can ask of myself.

Now to think of a theme, a topic, an outline. I have a few days to ponder this as I cannot start writing until November 1st. So until then I will be racking my brain.....when I start to write, I may post some excerpts here to see what you think and to keep you posted on my word count. I would also hope to draw some support and enthusiasm from my readers to keep me going!!

Word count for this post = 572 (Oh, I can see how this can become a dorky habit) LOL!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Terriffic Tuesday...

Oh WOW! That is really all I can muster at this moment in regards to the day I have had today. Ok, nothing super extraordinary happened today, but after the last few weeks I have had, I had a day like today coming to me..

My day actually kind of started last night and ventured into the wee hours of this morning. There is that saying that laughter is the best medicine. Well, whoever coined that phrase was dead on!! I spent hours laughing so hard last night/this morning that my stomach still hurts (well not really, but I laughed really hard). Granted, I know that part of the laughter and good times was directly affected by the company I had, and that just made it so much better. I just hope it was equally amusing...giggles =)

Then...ok this is a good one too...Ready? OK. Every Tuesday I step on the scale (cringe). Every Tuesday I'm oddly disappointed. I say oddly because I don't really expect the numbers to go down, but to at least stay the same, right? Well today I step on that blasted scale and guess what? Just guess, will ya? Giggles...ok..fine, I will tell ya! Ten pound less!! TEN POUNDS!! WTH??? I did nothing different! I moved that scale to 5 different locations and everywhere said the same thing! I checked the calibration several times thinking "who would play such a cruel joke?" So after much messing and almost making myself late for work, I figured it must be right!! WOOT!! Ok, so I have no idea why I lost 10 pounds, but I'm going with it!! I am definitely NOT complaining!

On to work I go after this escapade in my bathroom. Work in itself lately has been a bugger. I have been stressed to the max and ready to pull my hair out. However, today just seemed to flow by. No hiccups. No mass confusion. No headaches. I even saw someone run full on into a door!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing! Highlight of my day, that was!! Poor thing, so embarrassed....giggles.. !! Ok, I'm really sorry I laughed at her, but I know it is something that I would do, which makes it even funnier for me. Yeah, I'm that clumsy! I won't even tell you about my Senior Prom night...I might start crying...hehe!

So, after work, I am driving home, blasting my music with the windows down in the beautiful 70 degree sunny weather we had today! I didn't even have road rage today..hehe! Was smooth sailing home...just one thing missing but I can't talk about that!

I get home and have a ton of energy, so I decide to keep in theme with the whole weight loss thing and decided to get back into some sort of a work out. It's been a while but I'm up for it. I changed my clothes, grabbed my iPod and headed downstairs to push on the treadmill for a while. I turned on my tunes, turned them WAY up, and just lost myself....for over an hour!!!, that felt GREAT!! What's really funny is when you are on for that long and you stop and try and walk "normal" feel like you are floating on the air. Its the strangest feeling! After that it was onto take a shower, which those are ALWAYS good, and then it was time to eat dinner.

All that I can say is REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT!!!!

See, I told you it was nothing extraordinary, but counts!

Oh, I almost forgot. One more thing. I just found out today, that on October 26th, Saw4 comes to the theaters!! Boo Yaaa!!! Yes, I know...its a bit weird, even for me. But I LOVE those movies! I know. I'm scary...hehe! It's only a few weeks away!! WOOT!!!

I think that's it...but hoping the goodness will continue the rest of the night.....

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

This video, this song, is one of my most favorite. Can you imagine what it would be like to lie on a beach, at night, with the rain gently falling on your face? Just laying next to someone you care about, forgetting all of the worries of the world.

This song reminds me that sometimes you just have to sit back and forget. Sit back and take time for yourself and let the worries of the world disappear, if only for a short time. It also reminds me that you never have to do things alone. There is always someone there that you can "chase cars" with.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

How sweet it is....

The perfect title for a blog post just happens to be the title of my blog. Ironic. This post is dedicated to one of my best friends that I cannot imagine living a day without!! Our entire relationship, I guess you could say, is ironic. Everything about her, about us, is. However, that is exactly what makes it so special. I can only hope, that each and everyone one of you either does, or will have, someone like her in your life because it make life that much better!!

Let me take a few steps back and tell you how we met.

Twitter is where it all started. What is Twitter, you ask? Well look HERE and it might help. I had been on Twitter since April of 2007 and had met many many friends and sometime in July (I think) was when a friend of mine posted to the public to add her as a friend "because she was really cool". Well, who was I to say no to a recommendation from such a good friend? So, click click, she was added and hellos were said. We clicked pretty much from the get go and soon after that I ventured into Second Life (that's a blog post in itself)! My first night there she said hello to me via an IM and I was struggling....with my hair...yes, my hair! I had some how detached it from my head and attached it to my ear (and I know if you have no clue what SL is, you are really confused, but keep reading, it gets better). Well, she came to my rescue along with another twitter friend and helped me get my hair back in the right place. LOL. That night will always make me laugh when I think of it because I asked her the silliest question about a man being a woman. We both laugh at that now because this person is DEFINITELY a man..giggles! I know, you're still confused, but she won't be, and this post is really for her, so as long as she gets it, that is all that matters today.

So after our rendezvous in Second Life we talked more and more on Twitter and started to get all these ideas of jumping into huge vats of Jello, pudding, whip cream (hehe..yeah, I said cream..giggles....), chocolate, and on and on. It became a morning ritual for a while. We'd take our daily dive, giggle and laugh, and come up with new ideas for the next day and go on about our day having a great time! What is funny, is that I cannot put my finger on the day or even close to the day we became such great friends. It was like it just happened, like we had been close forever. That there really was never "a day" that we clicked, but more, that we had always clicked. One day, someone out of the blue made a comment about us being "twins" and from that day on, that is exactly what we are. We are not twins biologically, of course, but we are twins of the heart. I truly believe that somehow, someway, we share the same heart. There is just no other explanation for it. We do the same things, we share the same emotions, we think the same things...only to name a few. It's one of those things that you know you feel it, but it is so hard to try and explain. It just is.

She is amazing to me!

**here is where I need to pause and grab my box of Kleenex**

Without her, I really don't know where I would be today. She has helped me thorough some tough times, pulled me out of a few ruts, made me laugh. She has cried with me as I have cried with her. She has been by my side no matter how crazy I got, and things got really crazy let me tell you, and I am sure its not over. To know someone like a privilege, but to actually have her in my life as my friend, as my sister, is a true blessing. I am a better person for knowing her. I am a stronger person for knowing her. I am a happier person for knowing her. All of this, and we have never even met in person. I can only imagine what that day will be like when I can give her the biggest, bestest, sisterly hug ever!!!! The day before, we are both going to take out stock on Kleenex and mascara =)

No matter how crazy life gets, no matter how much pain we go through, I know that there will always be one constant in my life. That there will always be this one person by my side no matter how many mile separate us (and there are A LOT of miles between us). That person is my Little Twin, my sister, my friend, my confidante, my heart! It's to this person that I write this post, even though she already knows all of this.

I just want to say thank you! Thank you for being there for me, through thick and thin, thank you for never letting go. Thank you for keeping your faith in me when I didn't have faith in myself. Thank you for telling me how it is sometimes, even if you knew that was not what I wanted to hear. Thank you for being open and honest and sharing your life with me. You are the truest of friends, my sister!! I love you so much!

Thursday, October 4, 2007


On a lighter note...this made me smile. I hope it does the same for you!!

Here, I Helps U

Mixed emotions...

Before I truly begin this post there are a few things I must do:

1. Take a deep breath

2. Que music - this will inspire and relax

3. Grabbing a box of Kleenex because I know at some point during this post I will cry.

4. Last but not least: taking a hold of my giant teddy bear. (Will share at a different time)

Emotions have taken over me this week, almost to the point of sheer exhaustion. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and one can always tell how I am feeling and sometimes I really HATE that. There are times I would just rather crawl into a hole, let them work themselves out, shake it off, and move on with out anyone else getting involved, or hurt.

Do you ever feel like some people are better off not ever knowing you? This week has brought those feelings on to me. Deep down, I don't REALLY think that is true, but it makes me wonder sometimes. Do my actions cause others pain and suffering? For some, I suppose, but I would like to think that I bring a bit of sunshine to most of those that I meet. Am I strong enough to continue to reach out to people with the possibility of getting hurt, again? I guess getting hurt is inevitable sometimes because you cannot control the person you reach out to. All that I can do is offer love and friendship and hope that is strong enough for the both of us.

To those that have stuck by my side, thank you!

To those that I have hurt, I am sorry!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

A little rambling...

Here goes nothing...keep your expectations low,I'm not here to impress, just release and let go...

I haven't posted in quite some time, and I'm not entirely sure why. The whole blog thing began for me "because everyone else was doing it"! Sad to admit, I know, but that's my truth. The blog thing can be really scary at times, because it can show a part of me that I may or may not be ready to share, or maybe its the fact that by letting others read what I write, lets them see a little bit of me. Granted, one's blog can be can be as impersonal as you want it to be, but anyone who knows me, REALLY knows me, is aware that I am anything but impersonal. Therefore, nor can my blog. So what I write, be it far and few between, comes directly from the heart. I don't' write just to add a post or to "participate" or to appease readers, or to be a sheep (even though that is where it began). I write to release my emotions, to connect, to find myself. Which is actually kind of funny when you look at my blog because, truth be told, my writings rarely end up posted. Most of my writings are chicken scratched on paper, mused over for a bit, and then thrown away. I guess a piece of me feels that if I write it down, absorb it, accept it, and then discard it, it will help me to come to terms. Maybe even help me deal with it better. Does it really work? **shrugs** I don't know. I think so and I guess that is all that really counts. If I can just sit here and write with out thinking about WHAT I am writing (like right now), it's a way to release, escape. I usually feel better after writing what reels through my mind. Keyword being "usually". Sometimes I feel worse than when I began because of pure realization of my emotions and/or actions.

As I write this I go back and forth as to whether or not I will actually post this , but, I guess if you are reading this now, you know what my decision was and I decided to let you in, just a little bit. Letting people in is HUGE for me. Not just anyone gets that birds eye view, only those near and dear will get to see the REAL me...but here is where you will find bits and pieces of me...good...bad...ugly...all of the above! Part of the reason blogging scares me is because it opens me up to judgment and ridicule . Which in all honesty, terrifies me. My heart cares too much of what others think of me to subject my self to that. However, I also know that this can make me stronger. What is that saying? The things that don't kill you, only make you stronger? Hmmmm...well blogging will not kill me, so I press on =)

"Tenderness and Kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. ~~Kahlil Gibran