Reflections

Another year gone and another chapter in the book of life is closed. Didn't I just write a post about closing out a year? Every year that goes by seems to move faster and faster and time just slips away from me.

Looking in the mirror and reflecting on the past year, I haven't done anything phenomenonal but I'm not unhappy with the year either. I'm still smiling and laughing, perhaps even grew a few more laugh lines along the way. Some say they wished they didn't have them as they see them as wrinkles and a sign of aging. I see them as charachter that comes with age showing a lifetime of love and laughter. I'm not saying I haven't endured any pain through out the year, although, I wish I could. Thankfully I have escaped tragedy this year and I've even met a few more great friends. All in all, 2008 wasn't all that bad.

Tomorrow begins with a blank page and a fresh start for new goals and life in general. Let yesterday be yesterday and look forward along the path ahead of you. Don't always take the path that people expect you to follow. Take risks and try new things. Be brave, keep your chin up, and put on your knee and elbow pads during the rocky moments. Stand up and face your fears. Don't hide under the bed, because those monsters are just as scared of you as you are of them. Stay true to yourself and be who you want to be, not who someone else wants or thinks you should be. Most importantly, be happy, smile often, laugh out loud, and love with all your heart.

It's almost time to close the door....don't forget to turn out the light when you go....

Off The Bookshelf

So a few weeks ago, the craze around here was the new Twilight movie that came out. I had not even heard of this before the kids started begging me to go see it, let alone knowing there was a series of books behind it as well. Opening weekend I had agreed to take them to see a movie as long as they got their rooms cleaned (yes, sometimes bribery gets you somewhere..heh). The plan made originally was to go see High School Musical 3 (ugh...the price of being a good mom and putting up with that stuff. Just kidding!). Anyways, at last they finished their rooms and had asked to see Twilight instead. Who was I to turn down a vampire movie as opposed to a bunch of high school kids singing? Let's just say they didn't have to ask twice :)

So off to the movie we went. It really was nothing of what I expected which I posted HERE if you want to read that again..lol. Basically I was partly expecting vampires like those in 30 Days of Night. Umm..yeah. Not like that at all! Actually was almost tamer than a G rated movie compared to 30 Days of Night...sigh. However, the love story line was good.

The movie was fair enough so I thought I'd read the books. The books are always better than the movie, well in most cases anyway. So I picked up Twilight and started reading and it was a fast read and totally different than the movie, much much better! Those that told me they read the book already but hadn't watched the movie, I told them not to waste their money in the theater, wait until its out and rent it if anything. It is like night and day. The ones that didn't listen, wished they had.

Anyways, I've read Twilight and the next in the series, New Moon, and I have started the third called Eclipse and I am about half way through it, then there is the final book called Breaking Dawn. Of course it was written for teen agers so the read is mellow but still keeps you guessing and then there's the love story which I'm always a sucker for! Heh.

Somehow through these books I've been sort of drawn to vampires. Yes I know they don't really exist..sheesh! ;) I've always like the blood and gore of vampire movies and never thought about the possibilities of romanticism so it has my mind peaked.

Soooo...today I was in Barnes and Nobles and picked up a book by Laurell K. Hamilton called Guilty Pleasures. I couldn't help but read the first few chapters already even though I haven't finished Eclipse yet and I know I will enjoy this, on more of an "adult" level! *grins*

Know of any other good books...about vampires, of course? Jot me a note and let me know :)

Merry Christmas - A Day Late

Well they do say "better late than never", hm? I'm only a day late..hehe! So MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I hope all of you had a fabulous Christmas (if you celebrate), and if not, I hope you had a fantastic day! :)

I had a really good Christmas except for the fact that I was so sick on Christmas Eve I didn't get to go to dinner. Thankfully on Christmas I felt much better, or at least well enough to function.

I can without a doubt say this will be one of the most memorable Christmas' ever, for a few reasons. One of which I will tell you about.

My Sister in Law and her husband came over for breakfast on Christmas morn. They also have a little girl who just turned one in November. I'm sure you've heard me talk about her....hehe! She was the one who made me an Aunt for the first time and I was so excited and I love that little girl with all my heart!

So I was in the kitchen making french toast and they had been sleeping downstairs and were just waking up so I hadn't seen her yet that morning. Her mom brought her to the doorway near the kitchen and set her down and she toddled into the kitchen. Of course I was elated to see her so I got all excited and said "good morning Maddie!!". She grinned from ear to ear at me. I happened to notice that she was wearing a t-shirt over her pajamas and didn't really think about it and went back to flipping the french toast. I looked back over to her and actually read her shirt which said "Big Sister". Mind you, she is an only child so I said, "Maddie, you're not a big sister, why are you......SHUT UP!!!!" (yes, I screamed "shut up!"...LOL) I don't remember how I got over to my Sister In Law but I was hugging her tight and crying because it had just clicked in as to why she was wearing a big sister t-shirt. It was because mom was preggo again!! Eeeeeppppssss! OMG I cannot even explain how excited I was, and still am. It was the best Christmas surprise by far! Of course mom was happy about my reaction as they had did the same thing at dinner Christmas Eve and it was barely noticed. I think I made up for their excitement too...*giggles*!

This is Maddie in her cute little jammies and t-shirt. Poor thing still looks tired...lol. I couldn't get her to smile for me but she is still a little angel!

Lovemaster and Machine Guns!

Eeeks! It's been 10 days since I've been here last! Apparently I haven't had anything good to say, or it could be that I'm just too lazy to write! :)

I was talking with a dear friend the other night about dancing and one liners and he told me about a comedian, Craig Shoemaker. At the time he had just quoted a few of his lines and they made me laugh and then he shared a link. We were in conversation at the time so I saved the link to watch later. I don't know if I was just in a goofy mood or what, but OMG this man made me laugh so hard my daughter says, "MOM...breathe!! Breathe!!". I hadn't laughed that much in a very long time!! So a big thank you goes out to my friend for sharing....THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Yes, of course I'm going to share. There are only a few out there, but these two were my most favorite, the second link being the one he shared with me :)

Unfortunately it will not allow me to embed this video as it has been disabled, but please follow the links to the videos. I assure you that you will laugh at least once!

Craig Shoemaker - Machine Guns
Craig Shoemaker - The Lovemaster Cometh

Enjoy! :)

Random Stuffs :)

If this isn't one of the cutest things I have ever seen!! I want's hims..... :)

Everyone needs a Santa Puppy!! Want!

**Holds out heart**

Just too damn cute :)

Self Discovery

I see it all the time. People who put up these walls of defense to protect themselves from getting hurt by others. They refuse to get close to anyone, they are usually loners. Never in a million years would I have categorized myself there. I love people. I love interacting and making people smile and laugh. Knowing I made someone happy puts me on top of the world.

I've come into a harsh reality that I do fall into this very lonely group of people. I warm up to people really fast because I truly do enjoy people. I love to learn differences, quirks, likes and dislikes about music, movies, books...everything. It's especially enjoyable when I find similarities between us.

Then as I get closer I begin to question things. I don't have enough confidence in myself to understand why this wonderful person has any interest in me. That sooner or later they will realize I'm not worth the attention and leave. So the questioning and my insecurities slowly push them away until one day they are just gone. Of course, during the "phase out" I blame them, even though it has nothing to do with them. In the end, I blame myself, always, and apologize up and down. Hoping to get another chance. Too late.

I tell myself they are better off with out me and they will be happier. Meanwhile, I have a gaping hole in my heart from the loss. That feeling like you can't breathe, that you've lost a part of yourself, and wonder if you will ever feel happy again. After the damage is done, I realized that I was wrong. Those very people that I pushed away, I needed. Had they not thought I was worth it, they never would have bothered in the first place. Unfortunately, all realized too late.

What I do realize is that I don't want to be in that group of people anymore. It's lonely. It's depressing and horrible. Even though I wear my heart on my sleeve, and doing so is always prone to heart ache, the process of protection isn't worth the pain it causes to those that befriend me, to those I deeply care about.

Why is it so difficult for me to believe that I am a likeable person? I don't know. If I could answer that, I wouldn't be writing this post, which I'm hesitant to actually publish, for obvious reasons. I don't even think its about that. If I didn't think I was likeable, I wouldn't put myself out there at all. I would completely hide and not even interject with people. I think its fear of rejection. Perhaps I know that it's fear of rejection. If I push away first, maybe it won't hurt as much. Pain is pain, whether it be now or later. I don't want to be alone. I need to be able to enjoy the moment and see where it goes instead of presuming what may happen.

I will work at this. I will stop from second guessing. I will stop pushing. I will.....for me, and for you. Whoever "you" may be.....

Happy Turtle!!

It's no secret that I love turtles, and everytime I see this image I grin from ear to ear! This turtle has an incredibly happy look on her face, and I can totally relate! :)

Waking Up

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."